Monday, June 16, 2014
The Inevitable Remorse Of The Bellagio Buffet
First of all, the price is outrageous. Sure $45 per person isn't terribly out of line when one considers the gourmet food that is offered. But that price is effective for EVERYBODY, even children. Children are considered anybody over four years old. If that isn't confiscatory pricing, I don't know what is. Even Disney charges kids' prices for those under ten. My seven year old son can eat a lot. But he certainly cannot eat $45 worth. He gets a couple of slices of pizza then heads straight to the ice cream machine. That's the most expensive pizza and ice cream this side of Chuck E. Cheese.
Eventually all good things must come to an end and we manage to waddle ourselves out of the restaurant. That is when the real pain begins. With all the salt and cholesterol ingested, I've downed multiple glasses of free drinks to satisfy that powerful thirst. Then the fluid retention begins with a vengeance. My feet swell up so that my shoes feel a size too small. Ironically with the dry desert air, my lips are parched all the time. That means I drink even more fluids. Sleep comes fitfully that night as my thirst is unquenchable, my stomach is on the verge of returning its contents back to sender, and my legs feel leaden. Oh why did we think this was a good idea?
As I wake up in the morning to prepare for the long tortuous drive back to L.A., I can barely tie my shoes over my bloated feet. Drinking all that volume will mean I'll have to make several bathroom stops along the way instead of just cruising nonstop like we did coming here. This is probably the worst excess that has ever been hoisted on an unsuspecting public. And I'll see you again next year when I come back for more R and R.
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