I Knew You Were In Trouble When You Rolled In

To the music of  "Trouble" by Taylor Swift

Once upon a time many years ago.
I was in the lounge watching "24".
Trauma called me, trauma called me, trauma called me.
They're bringing a patient up with gunshot to the chest.
Bring all the blood as much as you can.
Set up room 3! Set up room 3! Set up room 3!

You looked long gone when you came to me.
And I realized your life depended on me.

Cause I knew you were in trouble when you rolled in.
Your skin was ashen
Blood poured out your mouth and down your chin.
Gonna lose my lunch, ugh.
I knew you were in trouble when you rolled in.
Your pulse was racing.
Blood poured out your chest and down the bed.
Now you're lying in a pool of clots.

Oh! Oh! Trouble! Trouble! Trouble!
Oh! Oh! Trouble! Trouble! Trouble!

I untangled all your lines. Hooked up the Level One.
I hung up all the O's and the FFP's.
You're fading. You're fading. You're fading.
Now I hear the surgeon shout.
He's cracking wide the chest.
The aortic clamp reaches in. You have gone brady.
And now I see. Now I see. Asystole!

You were nearly gone when you came in.
Now I realize your savior's not me.

I knew you were in trouble when you rolled in.
You're now pulseless.
Crash cart rolls in and we're pounding epi.
Get some bicarb.
I knew you were in trouble when you rolled in.
Squeeze the heart more.
This bloody battle we cannot win.
Now you're lying in the cold hard ground.

Oh! Oh! Trouble! Trouble! Trouble!
Oh! Oh! Trouble! Trouble! Trouble!

Apologies to all the Taylor Swift fans out there.