The Dirtiest Part Of The Body

Do you want to know what is the dirtiest part of the human body? It's not where you think. No, it's not the anus. While all sorts of nastiness are expelled regularly from your bottom, it is quickly and meticulously wiped away with paper designed specifically for the task. So I wouldn't call the anus the most unsanitary body part.

Well then, what about the mouth. Many people would consider the mouth the filthiest area of the body. Sure there are billions of bacteria that are breeding in the oropharynx that will give a horrendous infection if it is used to bite another person. But how bad can it be if people don't mind using their mouths to kiss and lick each other, sometimes with total strangers?

If you have ever had the opportunity to observe a case in the operating room, you would know that the body part that gets the most derogatory comments for being unclean is in fact the navel. The belly button receives all sorts of derision from the nurse who has to wash it before every abdominal procedure. If it is particularly disgusting, people descend to the level of elementary school kids in their mockery of the patient's inability to maintain proper hygiene.

Please wash this

What's so bad about the belly button? I think the main issue is that for being such a prominent and easily accessible body part, people rarely seem to wash it with the same care they use for other areas of the body, like the axilla or groin. Particularly in overweight patients, the navel can hide some pretty gross debris. There is the lint that somehow gets trapped deep inside, never seeing the light of day and allowed to molder in the dark depths for years at a time. Then there are the dead skin, hair, and old sweat that accumulate in that little hole. It eventually turns into a brownish mud that must be washed out to prevent a surgical wound infection after a procedure. That stuff reeks to the high heavens and makes the nurse completely apoplectic. The only time I've ever seen a more extreme reaction was when a nurse had to prep an adult male for a circumcision and she had to pull off a huge chunk of smegma out from under the foreskin. I think she almost lost her lunch on that one.

You say you don't have an unclean belly button because yours is an outy instead of an inny? Well you've got bigger problems because you probably have an umbilical hernia. These will eventually require a surgical repair to prevent incarceration of small bowel and an emergency operation.

So if you don't want to disgust the operating room nurse before your surgery, please remember to wash out your navel the night before you come to the hospital. The OR staff will thank you and you'll be spared the disparaging remarks that comes with neglecting your personal hygiene.