Monday, February 6, 2012

Call Me Insensitive

When you see a deer, you see Bambi.
And I see antlers up on the wall.
When you see a lake you think picnics.
And I see a large mouth up under that log.
I'm Still A Guy--Brad Paisley

Oh Anesthesiology, I guess I'm just not the kind of audience your editors are looking for. Sure your scientific articles are interesting and your review articles are informative, but your selection of pieces published in the Mind To Mind section leave me cold. I thought maybe I was not the right person to appreciate your esteemed journal when I noted the depressing subjects all too often published in your user submitted essays section. Now with your February issue, I know without a doubt that I'm just not the sensitive, aware anesthesiologist you think all of us should be.

I felt something was amiss when I first laid eyes on the cover of this month's issue. Instead of a brilliant scientific graphic or image, there were floating paper boats and--poetry. And not just any poem. This one had a slightly condescending, even admonishing, character to it. Heck, it doesn't even rhyme! Inside the pages, you describe the author, Dr. Audrey Shafer, as a brilliant anesthesiologist whose works have been widely published and is even "required reading in schools across the country." However, to me her "Anesthesia Checklist" on the cover brings to my mind some New Age guru looking over my shoulder as I'm trying to take care of my patient.

the patient's fear tethered like a beast in a nearly sealed cavern ready to rouse, frenzied and wild, especially at the call: open your eyes!
the patient's gift, wrapped in wariness by the family yet inside nestles trust, shy at being given to you, a stranger

The scene would be complete if I lighted up aromatherapy candles in the OR and rubbed the patient down with an algae mud wrap. It's all so highfalutin and touchy feely.

Now I'm not saying that Dr. Shafer isn't an incredible talent and wonderful physician. I'm just thinking that I would rather not read essays that would seem to be more appropriate in The New Yorker magazine. If you have to publish poetry, well here is something that I think many of your readers will find more entertaining.

There once was a surgeon with a knife
Who caused the OR much strife.
With the young nurses he'd flirt
While treating others like dirt.
Until his balls got busted by his wife.

Yes you have my permission to publish this in Mind to Mind. Your welcome.

1 comment:

  1. I firmly believe that every family member who choses not to pursue a DNR order for their loved ones once they pass the point of no return should be forced to watch a full code.

    I have too often worked someone who should be afforded the dignity of a quick death because their family was still holding out for a miracle cure.