Thursday, December 16, 2010

Stages of Grief, Computer Crash Edition

Denial--(Turn on office computer and screen stays blank.) Hmm, I guess I didn't push the ON button hard enough. Push a little harder this time. Still nothing? Is the monitor off? No. Check the plug at the wall outlet. No that's still good. Try pressing the ON button again.

Anger--Goddammit! Who's been messing around with my computer? Did somebody in here touch my computer?  This is f***ing unbelievable. I have a talk due next week and this stupid piece of s*** decides to die on me. Who in the office last used this computer? I want to know exactly what you did to cause this mess.

Bargaining--(Call in IT help) Please, please you have to rescue my computer. I've got all my slides and presentations in there and I need to have this thing working or I'm up the creek. Dear God of Gentle Mercy, if you bring back my computer I promise I'll back up my hard drive every night and tithe 25% of my income to the church. Oh Lord can't you bring it back just long enough for me to offload my files?

Depression--Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this fate? I take such good care of my computer. I never drop it or spill coffee on it. I always have the latest antiviral software loaded. I even use a surge protector. Why did this have to happen to me at the worst possible time?

Acceptance--I'm so stupid for not backing up my hard drive more often.  I think I may have older copies of my work on my home computer. Hopefully I can reconstruct my presentations from those. I never did like that one talk anyway. Now is a good time to improve on it. Que sera, sera.

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